Break On Through To The Other Side

I have a bad habit of getting what I suppose could be termed tunnel vision. I focus on the positives in people, and put aside the so-called negatives of their personalities. This can mean that I dig myself a very, very big hole that I find hard to climb out of when they behave - well, as humans tend to, and as I certainly do myself - as a normal numpty with feet, legs and a torso of clay.

This is usually a bit unfair on them, and certainly on myself, because the person who is most affected in the long run is me. And this is wasted energy and emotion. And sometimes a whole box of Kleenex. 

I am trashing the planet through my inability to cope when people are less than nice to me.

What a sook!

I have written before about the fact that none of us is without flaws, and we should accept them. This is all well and good. But being who I am, the trouble is that sometimes I don't see the wood for the trees in terms of what is a true problem area in the psyche and what is simply a quirk of personality - and as a result go charging round with friend Napalm. 

Next thing you know there's a bright orange sunrise and everyone's feeling vaguely sunburnt and ill.

And there's a big cleared out patch where some very strong friendships used to be.

So what to do?

Lay off the Apocalypse Now references would probably be a good starting point.

After that, it's a matter of accepting that everyone is different. The whole 'you are unique' blarney isn't actually blarney - I know that I drive many, MANY people in my life bonkers and they put up with my ways with a grin. A somewhat forced grin, but a grin nonetheless. So I therefore need to look at someone as a real boy or girl, not as a Pinocchio-like wooden figure, from the start of any relationship - instead of trying to see just a part of them.

That way when I do drop down into what I think is a pit of despair, I will be grateful that it was actually not a hole at all.

It was just a covered pathway. Or even a tunnel of sorts.

And there is an end in sight.