A Difficult Woman

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You Say You Want A Resolution?

“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language/And next year’s words await another voice.” — T. S . Eliot, Four Quartets

I have never been a particular fan of New Year's Eve. Much like Valentine's Day and other Hallmark Holidays, it is one of those occasions where it seems to be about proscribed fun; enjoy yourself or else. You must make it to midnight, you must be having a good time, you must be doing something that is more fun that at any other time of the year - because it's NEW YEAR'S EVE!!

This alone makes me want to go to bed early and pull the covers over my head, simply because I am a contrary minded sod and can't stand being told what to do.

However.

2013, has, on many levels...

Sucked. Like a very big sucky thing. And this in itself for once makes me want to see the year out with a bang... mainly to make sure that it actually disappears and doesn't hang around making more trouble.

I am also not one for New Year's Resolutions, mainly because I tend to break most of them within the first twenty four hours of making them. As most sensible people know, resolutions are made in earnest and with the best of intentions, but are also made with absolutely no expectation of actually keeping them. It's almost an end of year security blanket for the soul; if I make a list of things that I intend to improve about myself, then I will give myself good luck for the new year to come.

This may sound very cynical, and it probably is, but I don't think of it that way; I think I am just realistic. Part of the reason 2013 was craptacular was that I didn't handle a lot of things particularly well, so it has to sit on my shoulders. The other reason 2013 was craptacular was completely beyond my control, and it wouldn't have made a blind bit of difference whether or not I had stuck to any or all resolutions made, so again, why make them in the first place?

Rather than resolutions, I think what the turn of the year should teach us is to put our faith in what is most important in our lives, and to make sure we hold fast to it as the calendar clicks over.

What do you most care about? Is it success, or family, or love, or health, or learning? Is it a combination of these things? What can you truly not imagine the next year containing? What is the one thing that for you, 2014 has to hold to make it better than 2013? What, in other words, will make the next 365 days a Happy New Year?

I think if you can answer that question then you will find your reason to be, if you will, 'resolute'. And it's not about making silly promises to yourself about how to lose weight, or drink less, or not gossip about friends behind their backs, or get a better job. It's about happiness. Pure and simple. About being able to say, at the end of 2014, 'I had a really great year.'

Perhaps it's about finding your voice.

Or even your heart.

Happy New Year.