While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats. - Mark Twain
Yesterday afternoon, yet again, the bathroom masqueraded as the finest hair salon in town, as Kate On Limited Cash did some thoughtful grey hair coverage, chatted to herself about what she was up to on the weekend (working), what she thought about the budget (nothing that bears repeating in polite company), and how excited she was about the current Wallabies squad, which her stylist completely understood because it was, after all, her. It's quite nice being your own hairstylist at times. You talk about the things that interest you.
Later on, the exclusive salon closely resembled the customary bloodbath/shower scene from Psycho, because let's face it, you don't go red without a little bit of...
Who am I kidding.
Buffalo Bill could have been in there crooning 'it puts the lotion in the basket, it puts the lotion IN THE BASKET, yes it does, doesn't it Precious' and making himself an entire new prom dress, and nobody would have noticed. It was a copper-tinged Armageddon.
Naturally I arose like an auburn Phoenix at the end of this process, and promptly posted proof to all forms of social media, complete with new specs, which allowed me to see that I had adequately covered the yuck grey under the red, and that black and white was a better photo option than colour for those who might find very pale skin and red hair a bit challenging with their dinnertime glass of cab sauv.
For those who say that redheads are satanic, this should be adequate proof that we are, in fact, on the side of the angels.
Why do redheads get such a bad rap? Some of the most fabulous women ever to grace the annals of the ages have been rangas; and yes, I am going to mention our first female Prime Minister, because like her or loathe her, she did make history. Lucille Ball. Carol Burnett. Margaret Sanger, who lived to see the birth control pill legalised. Cleopatra (yes, really). Bernadette Peters. Emily Dickinson. My darling Katharine Hepburn. Emma Stone. And of course...
Elizabeth I. Gloriana. She may have only had the body of a woman, but by God she made mischief for a hell of a lot of men's hearts and stomachs.
Redheads rock. They rock. Every single redhead I know has a temper that could shake the trees - but not one of them sulks. They are cynics, but they get a joke faster than anyone else I know. They are generous. They are kind. They are fiercely, fiercely loyal, to their friends and their partners.
And they wear a little black dress like a panther prowling through a roomful full of prey.
Lucille Ball said 'Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead.'
This is true.
If he's very lucky, she'll fall in love right back.