Citizen Caned

“I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories.”

— Dave Barry

I was reading a trashy mag yesterday (in theory I was doing housework - dust, dust, dust) and much as I love my 'who wore what incredibly badly', and innumerable pictures of Alexander SkarsGod, I noticed that I was getting increasingly irritated the more I thumbed through the pages of a publication we will call, for the sake of not getting sued, 'WHAT' magazine.

It was just such absolute crap.  

I love magazines - trashy and not so trashy. They are always, even if you know you have the time to read them, and legitimately don't have anything else to do, a guilty pleasure. There is something about them that invites the addition of chocolate, and possibly more chocolate. But either we are getting even more stupid, or some publishers really don't care, because I have noticed that a lot of mags are really not trying very hard. And more to the point, newspapers and TV current affairs shows are, in general, the same. There are exceptions to this rule (step forward Ellen Fanning and The Observer Effect, and Vanity Fair you still do it for me, even without Hitch) but mostly... meh.

Shoving an app in to show you behind the scenes video is all very well, but what happened to witty words on the page? Or an interviewer who actually interviews instead of just waiting for the end of someone's answer to ask their next question (there is a distinction here, people). I don't mind what medium my mags and newspapers are in - in fact some I prefer in the online version because I can skip the ads (American Vogue, this means you) - but please, please don't insult my intelligence. 

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I expect too much? Perhaps I think I am too good for mainstream publications, press and political pundits? 

Don't think so, says the girl who reads 'WHAT' magazine.  

I would just like those who make the news - well, to make it newsworthy. I don't need to see stories regurgitated ad infinitum; in a play on the old adage, if you don't have anything fresh to say, don't say anything at all. 

If you give people intelligent (and informed) news, they will have intelligent and informed debate. I am happy to talk about the latest blergh effort by insert-name-here in a fashion disaster worthy of the Titanic, but twenty four hour a day coverage of Bow Down Before Your God Kanye (ha!) and Look at Me's baby, or this continuing ridiculous debate about the PM's weight/partner/anything personal they can think of? 

I'd rather eat my own hair.  

GIve me something with a bit of substance, my beloved media. 

Or my very large investment in your various forms may be going into something which offers me more brain for my buck - dinner with friends who talk about more than who had a coffee with whoever else.  

Sounds good to me. 

She says turning on the news, and hoping for a miracle.