I am going through some significant life changes at the moment, and as a result feel as though I am chasing my own tail half the time. You know what I mean - that headlong half-panicked, half-excited sensation combined with an 'oh hell, I have so much to do and no time in which to do it' tic in the back of your brain.
Is it weird to be grateful for that squirmy 'what the hell am I doing?' sensation in my stomach?
As I sit here in the Dread Pirate's seaward looking lair - which unfortunately is sans said Dread, who is busy buccaneering - I can't help but think of David Bowie's 'Changes'. I am trying to turn and face the strange, but at moments... well, I feel like facing the familiar and the known, even with the realisation that they are not what I want or need moving forward.
I think everyone experiences this at some stage when facing the unknown. Whether you are in a new job, new personal circumstances, a new town even - it's sometimes tempting to want to turn back the clock if only so that the uncertainties are removed.
But then - if you remove the uncertain, and stick with the safe, aren't you basically saying 'I know I wasn't happy with my life before, but it was the way things were, so I will just keep on going'?
This is a time for a leap of faith. Whether it is faith in your own abilities, faith in another person - it doesn't matter. What does matter is being brave enough to say OK, it may not work out - but if I don't try, I will never know.
Turn to face the strange. Be grateful for the unknown and the possibly precarious. You never know - time may have a treat in store for you.
Just this once.